Staying True to Boundaries Under Pressure
Yesterday I had a win! I wonder if other parents would see it the same. Here’s the scenario:
● At home, my 15 year old was displaying secretive and suspicious behaviour and on the phone
● An unknown teen is hovering in the shadows out the front of our house, also on the phone
● I question my teen about the person out the front and suggest we go and see what they want
● I receive anger and refusal
● I go out front to see the stranger walking quickly away
● 5 minutes later my teen goes for a walk.
Great. Ok, what to do?
It’s a bit like a multiple guess situation in a school exam when you don’t understand the question. What are the options?
1. Search the teen’s room as you suspect they are selling vapes.
2. Ignore the situation as you are aware many teens do this and they will grow out of it.
3. Wait till teen comes home and discuss your concerns with them in a calm manner
4. Go out and follow them to see what they are doing.
Wow, none of these options are appealing. Maybe I should have considered buying a plane ticket to Tahiti, coming back when the teen years are over!
I chose option one. I found a box of brightly coloured packages that look like delicious candy. They’re not of course. It’s a huge amount of vapes also known as stigs or e-cigarettes. I take them and hide them in the garage.
Well, goodness. Thankfully I have very thick skin these days after being put through the wringer with the older sibling.
This usually very polite and friendly 15-year-old throws expletives and makes suggestions that if the items aren’t returned they will end up with a slit throat.
Wow. “What a way to make money,” is what slipped out of my mouth. I take the barrage of abuse and go out into the garden. Time to think. I return and offer to take the cargo with the teen, no questions asked and return them to the source. Winner, winner chicken dinner!! Ten minutes later teen agrees. We drive somewhere. I’m not in sight. Package is taken and teen returns empty handed. Teen said it was a relief. We talked. I love him so much. None of this is legal but it is happening everywhere.
Have you found yourself in a similar situation?
