The teenager I have now I don’t recognise

Every other day Facebook serves me a memory. I can share it, but I don’t. It’s too sad; for me anyway. They usually include one or both of my sons, and when it features my eldest, I just want those times back. The teenager I have now I don’t recognise in those memories. Everything about him has changed: his hair; his face; but mostly his behaviour and enthusiasm for life.

He’ll be 15 this year.

I used to dread his birthday and the celebration that he and his mates would create. But now I know he’ll be safe as he’ll be having his birthday in a juvenile detention centre.

At the beginning of this year, I could only hope I would survive 12 months and that he would get to the end of year nine. I have survived the year, with many sleepless nights, but he has hardly spent a day at school.

I don’t completely understand the extent of his behaviour; however, it involves a lot of police attention, including many visits to the home. It involves alcohol, drugs, lying, sleeping rough, not sleeping, vaping, going missing, a lot of bus rides without paying, running from police, drunken nights in police cells, trips to juvenile detention, bail conditions, and complete disregard for rules and respect.

Not the teenager I had expected my adolescent would become.

I could blame his peers; however, he is making his own decisions. His peers are a major influence though, and they're not what I would call friends. But they are his world.

His school, parenting support groups, SDECC, my counsellor, Youth Justice, and my amazingly supportive friends have helped me stumble to the end of 2021. They have made me realise I shouldn’t feel judged, I’m doing everything I can and it’s not my fault.

This is an extremely tough struggle more parents than I dare to think of are going through in Sydney. If you are one of these families; the support of those who understand is invaluable. Reach out to organisations listed on the Empowering Parents in Crisis website and start to feel connected with others who understand.

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EPIC is working to educate the broader community regarding a parent's challenges and the need for support when their teen is engaging in dangerous/life threatening activities. If you are in need of support, please EPIC on 0426 425 164 or email.

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